Talking Bollocks - Totally Stupid Everyday Remarks by Professor R. Lingo.

TALKING BOLLOCKS! is a particularly useful guide for aliens wishing to infiltrate our society, to help them comprehend the diversity of drivel and utter mumbo jumbo that comprises our everyday vocabulary.

Ours isn't the only language that enables people to talk absolute nonsense but for now here's a collection of 52 bollock-brained English-language phrases, ranging from irritating answers such as "How long's a piece of string?" to pointless questions "What, none at all?" and meaningless sayings "Have a safe flight" or "As sure as eggs is eggs".

Hardback book.